All gunked up

Whisper & Howl

I realized something important about my body last week.

It’s whack.  Wacky.  Out of whack.  Whacked?

The alignment is all off.  There’s no balance.  Not that it has been balanced in years anyway.  I’ve been dealing with poor health for years: low energy, congestion, GI issues, back pain, occasional fatigue…just feeling kind of crappy all of the time.  I’m so, so tired of it.

I remember 2 years ago, my Birthday Resolution was “Health.”  I knew that was pretty broad so I tried to break it up into segments like Spiritual, Mental, Physical, because that makes it so much easier (hahahahaaaahhhhhhhsigh).  After the year was up I certainly didn’t feel that I’d accomplished that goal.  I was in grad school, dealing with a lot of anxiety, stress and loneliness.  I was fatigued and bloated all of the time, and I’d totally let my asana practice go.  But you know, I got by.  I got through that.   I also realized that year that gluten was causing a lot of my fatigue issues, so I cut that out.

Actually, looking back, I did totally start something that year.  I set the intention to improve my health and while I didn’t find the cure and solve all my problems, I started on the path to feeling awesome.  I guess that’s what intentions do.  Ah hah!

Since then, I have put a lot of energy into healing my digestive system.  Again, as a sign of my natural impatience, I was focusing on immediate results and not thinking about the long-term effects that this would have.  Focusing on the immediate made it easier to slip up and eat things that cause a reaction.  For instance, it’s really hard to not eat cheese.

Cheese is like, the best thing.  It’s delicious, fatty and salty and interesting, and it’s packed full of chemicals that make us feel amazing.  When I’m in situations where I’m literally touching it, like cutting pizza for kids or slicing a chunk of Jarslberg for a gallery opening, it is almost impossible for me not to put it in my mouth.  Lots of it.  Even though it upsets my tummy.  Even though I’ll wake up with a sinus headache that could definitely turn into a sinus infection.  Even though I am basically one big snot monster.  It’s just SO GOOD.

What I didn’t realize before is that I have done a pretty good job of healing my gut, and that has allowed me to see other problems that still exist.   I have connected some dots and now know that I’ve got a lot of inflammation in my body, which is causing congestion and back pain.  Now that my gut is better and that’s not the focus of all of my healing energy, I can move on to a new phase of healing.

My impression is that I need to cleanse now, to get the leftover junk, the junk that’s built up in my body for all the years when I was eating the wrong foods or whatever caused all these things, to flush all that shit out.  We’re in Cancer Sun time, a time for healing, and Capricorn Moon time, a time for setting routines and putting systems into place. Perfect timing, right?!It’s like Phase 2!  (Or really, like Phase One Zillion.) I have to maintain my diet.  I have to FIGHT THE CHEESE (or as my acupuncturist said, “Don’t feed the monster”).  I can’t put gunk in my body if I want to get gunk OUT of it!

You won’t see my on a juice cleanse–first because I think it’s super unhealthy and second, because I think it’s stupid and I don’t want to, harumph–or any other fad detox diets.  Here are some things I am going to do, and I’m putting them here on the internet to officially set my intention and challenge myself to commit:

  1. SMOOTHIE CHALLENGE!!!  I’ve been really bad about having a daily smoothie and I feel better when I do have them.  They increase my fruit and veggie intake and are easy to digest, good for an irritated gut.  I have already started and will continue to have 1 Smoothie each day in July and hopefully will keep doing it in future months.
  2. Acupuncture and treatments: I started acupuncture on Tuesday and have made appointments for the next month, every other week.  I’m also doing what my specialist tells me to do, which at the moment is Castor Oil Packs over my liver each evening and Wet Sock Treatment for 3 nights in a row.  Yes, it’s weird, and yes, I love it.
  3. Sticking to my diet: Absolutely, 100%, no excuses, doing this.  I WILL DO THIS!!!  THIS IS HAPPENING!
  4. Immune-boosting, dosha-balancing, cleansing foods and herbs: Turmeric and ginger in my smoothies.  Hot water and lemon. Apple cider vinegar.  Triphala and Neem.  Bitter, pungent, fresh, spicy foods.  Immune-boosting soup.  Fresh fruits and veggies.  You get the idea.

And the MOST IMPORTANT THING:

Have PATIENCE.  Oh this is so hard for me!  Once I have identified a problem, I feel like I should be able to fix it immediately and when I don’t see results right away, I get frustrated.  I have to let go of my Virgoan perfectionism, breathe deeply, drink my smoothie and remember that good things take time.  Monsters can be tamed.  Small steps.

If you are dealing with something similar, or have gone through this and come out the other side, monster-free, I’ll take any tips you’ve got!

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